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  • F.U.C.K.ME


As "JOKER" approaches the $1 BILLION mark and has already broken "R" movies records, I'm compelled to make a second post not to praise the movie for being as amazing as we expected it to be and laud Joaquin for finally getting the role of a lifetime (which he so deserved and so earned over the years I watched and loved him thinking him deserving of so much more) but to discuss the obvious. Speaking as a woman so intimately involved and invested in the lives of two people challenged by the plague of mental illness it's important for me to step out of my typical sunny/inspirational mindset and make a serious declaration on the subject. As most of you probably know Britney's been wrestling with BIPOLAR chemistry for over a decade and (for those who do not know) D. has a large astrocytoma that -- coupled with unimaginable childhood trauma -- has made what will be the final months of his life a roller-coaster of chemical horrors.

All of us are approximately $9.00 worth of fundamental chemicals -- something that would fit into a paper candy bag.

Because of this universal truth we are all the sum of our chemical recipes.

For many decades now sociopaths and assholes have found it "funny" to mock and taunt those haunted by a concoction of chemicals in the brain that turn reality, emotion and spiritual energies into a volatile assault from within. I cannot imagine a worse hell than a brilliant man who spent a lifetime bleeding, sweating and toiling in ways the rest of us couldn't even imagine hereafter watching his genius fracture into shards before his own disbelieving and helpless eyes. When your own mind becomes your boogeyman, your night terrors, your devil, your army of enemies, is there anywhere to go, anyone who can save you? It's a cruel and savage ongoing decomposition of self.

So for the record - THERE IS NOTHING HUMOROUS ABOUT MENTAL ILLNESS; and, if you'd spent 5 minutes in the room with someone you loved dearly, witnessing how suddenly someone sweet and heroic can shatter like glass, you'd not only know of what I speak, but probably realize it's actually terrifying for us all and SHOULD BE. If there is a visible future holocaust it's what's happening to our loved ones deep in the chemical disaster of their minds. "JOKER" is the first attempt by Hollywood to make mainstream the issue in a way where -- for once -- we should find ourselves finally losing our smiles and gaining some respect for the millions of people who are tormented and tortured by something no one deserves to know.

What they endure is literally right out of a horror movie and unlike a movie it doesn't last 120 minutes -- it's merciless.

It is not funny, it's not grist for comedians, it's NOTHING TO JOKE ABOUT!

Having said all this, I am grateful to those of you who have shown support to me but be sure that I am JUST DANDY and please remember it is NOT ME who needs the love and concern but others who are actually living with the suffering. What we experience by proximity is a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of what they are enduring. They are not lucky to have me, I am lucky to have them. They have taught me such bravery, such valiance, such incredible strength, such fortitude.

They have helped teach me the value of time, tenderness and human intimacy.

Please reach out to those around you who are clearly "not themselves" and those who are clearly struggling with real illness. You cannot 'cure' them, but you can assure them there is something at their side holding their hand as they spiral through their plight.

And that's beautiful.

BE BEAUTIFUL! beautiful!

Now that I'm back from birthday week, I'm so damn itchin' and twitchin' to cook in your kitchen! -- I'll bring the pie you bring the cream!

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